Rupert Has Been Found

I know you're all studying hard for tomorrow's quiz, but I'd just like to interrupt you for a moment to make the following observation.

The tenth planet has been discovered. Seriously. This is momentous. I can remember being a snot-nosed prepubescent nerd and reading about how there probably was one, if orbital anomalies had anything to say about it, but they couldn't find it. Now, while I am a snot-nosed nerd in the prime of my life, here it is staring us in the telescope. Its orbit is on a 45 degree angle with the rest of the solar system; that's why it was so hard to spot. But yeah, it's there. It's bigger than Pluto (but hey, so's our moon). Thanks to Michael for spotting this story. According to him, it's been named Zena, but I can't find any article confirming this online. Maybe he was joking.

At this juncture I would like to bring up a point made by my hero, Douglas Adams. In the fifth book of his Hitchhiker Trilogy, "Mostly Harmless" (1992), the tenth planet was discovered and christened 'Persephone,' but nicknamed 'Rupert.' Of course, the general public greatly preferred the nickname. Anyway, one of Adams' characters brought up the excellent point that the discovery of a tenth planet pretty much chucks the whole concept of astrology right out the window. I mean (here I attempt to quote Adams from memory as accurately as I can), "surely the notion that giant lumps of rock hurtling through space know something about your day that you don't takes a nasty knock from the knowledge that there's suddenly a new lump of rock out there, doesn't it? Sure, we all knew (or thought we did) what it meant when Jupiter was in the house of Taurus, but what about when Rupert is rising? Wouldn't this perhaps be a good time to admit that the whole thing was just a load of hogwash and cash it in?"

I don't think I can say it any better.