Where I want to be

Getting into bed on Monday night I told Josh, I think one day a week with my children is enough. Tuesday, getting a spanked-bottomed Alicia out of the tub, the headline in my brain read, I don't want to be a mother. It was the theme this week. But the good part is, it wasn't just the theme of my week alone.

I worked four nights this week at the Lehmann Center in Minneapolis. A goodly number of the teachers there at night are stay-at-home moms. A goodly number of the conversations I had with them this week were characterized by both of us declaring that this was tough. And, When does it get easier?

Wednesday and Thursday I taught both in the morning and at night. I had little sleep and a good amount of time away from my children. This led to a good day at home with them, even though Alicia was just a piece today. The better gift was that Toby was obedient. Ah, fresh air. You know, I don't want to raise kids who are focused on just falling into line. I want to respect my kids' sense of time and task and independence. Still, I really understand why some parents are so obedience focused. It makes everything greener.

So at the moment, I'm downstairs in a quiet house at 6:32pm. I'm supposed to be working on my class at Hamline (I've failed to tell you that I started my masters). My dear husband and two perfect children are outside playing with four beautiful immigrant boys. We were watching out the window when we saw them walk into our driveway and look around as if for permission to use our hoop. (We share a driveway with three other townhouses.) We opened the window and told them anytime. Then I sent a delegation out to join them. You're kidding, a neighbor just came out and, ugh. I bummed that he did that, but the boys are still playing, so I'm glad that Josh was out there.

And this is where I want to be. Doing intelligent things and defending refugee rights to basketball hoops.