Not Yet

Hi everybody. Alicia is not coming home yet. She's gained some weight back and is feeding okay, but overall is just not quite there yet. We need to get her taking more of her supplemented milk by bottle rather than tube...she's doing her best; it's just hard work, that's all.

All of this is. I can understand how someone might say we shouldn't be so focused on getting her home; what's best for her is the most important thing, even if she has to stay another (insert length of time that I don't even want to think about).

But that's just it. What's best for Alicia is absolutely the most important piece of the puzzle, but it's not the only piece. It just isn't. On us as a family, this is hell. Some days Toby only sees his Mom for a few minutes. Some days I only see his Mom for a few minutes. You can't comprehend how sick we are of driving to the hospital. You can't imagine how blissful it will be just to be home with nowhere to go for days on end. When Alicia comes home it's going to be work, and it's going to be hard, but as a family we really need to be put back together, and I think it's sometimes easy to forget to factor that in when we talk about getting her home.

The other side of the coin, or perhaps the same side of a different coin, is that no matter how long Alicia stays in the hospital, she's not going to be all better when she does come home. She'll probably be on oxygen for months. She'll be going to the doctor once a week for months. More than one doctor, some weeks. She will be developmentally behind for at least a year, and there's a very real chance she will be developmentally disabled well into school age. We're not at the end of anything, we're just wanting to get on to the next stage.

Okay, that was depressing. It's really not all bad. We're hoping for Tuesday now. We can't really think farther than that.

Other non-depressing stuff:

Toby is two tomorrow!

NBA "You heard it here first" predictions:
Rashad McCants will be in the starting lineup by the end of the month.
The Eastern Finals will be Detroit and New Jersey. No Shaq.

Tool's new album has been titled! Release supposedly in early May. I know a few of you are excited...

Who will win:
Philip Seymour Hoffman
William Hurt
Reese Witherspoon
Catherine Keener
Brokeback Mountain

Who should win:
Normally I'd have opinions, but I haven't seen any of these movies. I've always loved Philip Seymour Hoffman though. I'm just looking forward to four hours of Jon Stewart.

And finally, who wants to feel old? Tone Lōc is 40 today.