There was no CT scan last week. I thought it would happen by Friday, but I got a call Tuesday, the day after I saw the ENT, that he wanted Alicia to see a dermatologist instead. That appointment will be April 30, a week from today.

I've been stressed, worrying about Alicia. What changed it for me is that the old diagnosis was for a tumor that only occurs just under the skin. The new idea is that these lumps are venous malformations (venomous Malfoys?), things that can occur anywhere in the body. If she's got six of them that we can see, I'm scared that there are others that we can't see. They should be mostly a nuisance and not at all threatening. But there was that spot on Alicia's lung that was first called a cyst, and later just called damage. On the same CT scan (July 06) taken to view that damage, the lump in Alicia's cheek didn't show up. So if one of these little guys was the cause of damage in Alicia's lungs, that wouldn't have shown on last summer's CT scan. And these things are growing.

The chances are probably great that these lumps are simply the lumps we see, she'll need surgery which will be a breeze, and then she'll have six little scars on her body. I'd be fine with that.

Other than my wandering mind thinking the worst in case it doesn't occur to the doctors, the other reason I've been so shaken up was that the doctor's appointment last Monday was so unsettling. If we do end up doing tubes for Alicia's ears, I'll go to a different doctor. Last Monday's ENT was rushed and didn't take the time to explain much to me. He even forgot about Alicia's ears. He looked in them, "Yeah, so we'll just put tubes in when we do surgery to take out lumps." That was all he said to me about tubes. No explanation, no questions, nothing else. Just--we'll put tubes in. I asked why he'd do the cheek surgery from the outside instead of the inside and the response was, "Out of the question!" Oh. I don't care if this was his only off day in the last year. I don't need to see this guy again. I don't care that this guy had his picture on the cover of Minneapolis/St Paul Magazine. There are other doctors. This guy should have called me at home later if he was in such a rush at the time. Or had a colleague field my questions. There are at least three doctors that have called our house, not counting the calls we received while Alicia was in the hospital.

The good news is that Alicia doesn't bang her head too much anymore. We think Alicia might not have fluid or infection in her ears for the moment, so it seems that she's not in pain right now. That is great! Her banging and apparent pain were huge stressers for me too. Such is life.