Ask An ESL Teacher

Do you have nagging questions about English as a Second Language Education that you've never had the chance to ask? Of course, we all do. Or perhaps you've had a grammar question on your mind that you meant to ask Mr. Language Person, but then Dave Barry retired, and now there's no hope for you. Maybe you're just wondering about that timeless grammar question, should it be "four and five is eight," or "four and five are eight?" Well, wonder no more, because it's a real waste of your time. And also because now you can Ask An ESL Teacher.

Q: What's a Second Language?
A: Thanks for starting with an easy one. Your Second Language is any language you have to learn as an older child or adult, one which you didn't grow up speaking.

Q: So technically it could actually be your third or fourth or fifth language?
A: Yes. You can have more than one Second Language. For that reason some people like to call ESL students ELLs, or English Language Learners. But technically we're all learning English all the time, aren't we?

Q: I don't know.
A: You can also have more than one First Language, if you grew up bilingual. By the way, hip and with-it ESL teachers like to say 'L1' and L2' instead of 'First Language' and 'Second Language'. Makes us sound like computer programmers.

Q: My head hurts.
A: Next question.

Q: Alright, tell me this. Did Yoda have a bad ESL teacher? I mean, English was clearly not his first language, since his grammar is so horrible. But nobody else in Star Wars talks like he does at all. How would he not have figured out the right way to speak English just by listening to everybody else? He seems pretty wise, otherwise.
A: Actually, his grammar is not horrible, it's just different. Many languages, even on earth, follow his structure of VOS, or Verb-Object-Subject. English is SVO, so we would say, "The cat ate the mouse." But Yoda, following VOS, would say, "Ate the mouse, the cat did." Other examples of VOS include Austronesian languages such as Malagasy, Old Javanese, Toba Batak and Fijian, as well as Mayan languages like Tzotzil, which are ergative languages. My best guess is that Yoda's L1 was similar to these. Many ELLs have trouble abandoning their L1 grammar when they study a second language, so Yoda is not that odd a case. And he could probably find the occasional example of a VOS sentence structure even in respected English literature, which would have made it seem perfectly fine to phrase his thoughts in the way that came most naturally to him.

Q: I think you just ruined Star Wars for me.
A: Or made it better, have I?

Q: How much do your students know when they start?
A: It varies widely. Some immigrants were well-educated in their first language, so they already know how to listen to a teacher, take notes, and cheat on placement exams. Others come from a purely oral culture and have a difficult time just learning to hold a pencil or focus on one person for a whole hour. But regardless of their L1 education, many of them come in with almost no understanding of English and have to start from scratch. Others have been here for years and have picked up a fair amount, but that can almost be worse because of all the bad habits they've developed.

Q: Then do you have to learn the languages your students speak so that you can make sure they understand what you're teaching them?
A: My Spanish is pretty good, and I've definitely picked up some Somali phrases, but really the answer is no. Most ESL educators believe it's not beneficial and can even be harmful to speak anything other than English in the classroom. Although I just wrote a paper on the theories of Vygotsky, who believed that students should dialog with each other in their L1 in order to better assimilate their L2.

Q: Can you really use 'L1' and 'L2' like that?
A: No.

Q: Vygotsky, huh? I bet it's hard to keep up to date with the latest developments in ESL Education.
A: Please phrase your question in the form of a question.

Q: Sorry. Is it hard to keep up to date with the latest developments in ESL Education?
A: It takes some work. For example, at this very minute I am in a class at Hamline University, working on credits for my Master's Degree.

Q: Wait...then how are you answering my questions?
A: I'm not. This was my husband's lame idea. I had no input into these answers whatsoever.

Q: Well, that's weird. Anyway, I just have one more question, and I think it's what most people wonder about ESL. How in the freaking heck do you teach English to people who don't understand a word you're saying?
A: Sorry, I have no idea. For that one you would have to actually ask a real ESL teacher.