Life in Minneapolis

For those of us following the NBA Playoffs, last night was a huge event, practically a vindication of all that is good in this world and a reminder that injustice cannot last forever.

Well, I guess it depends how you look at it. But the Phoenix Suns have come back from a 3-1 deficit to win their best of seven series, only the eighth team in NBA history to do so. If you need a recap, the Lakers won game 4 to take said 3-1 lead because of the Most Ridiculous Call in Playoff History. In overtime with the Suns up by a point, Canadian MVP Steve Nash had the ball with time ticking away. Everyone in the building knew the Lakers had to foul him. Nash crossed midcourt and hunched over the ball so that there was no way it could be taken from him without a foul. As expected, two white jerseys swarmed him, assaulting his undersized body with bumps and slaps. As expected, the whistle blew. With 6 seconds on the clock, the nation sat back and waited for the foul call, knowing Nash (fourth best free throw shooter in league history) would sink both shots and tie the series at 2 games each. Instead, the referee signaled a jump ball, the Los Angeles crowd erupted in astonished joy, and the rest of the nation watching at home wondered what the ref could have been smoking and whether they could possibly get some.

Nash, the smallest human being in the entire building, lost the jump ball and Kobe drained a shot to win the game at the buzzer. He is very good at doing that. Which he deserves credit for, but if you need a reason to dislike him, take a look at the picture of him right after doing so.

So last night the Suns completed their three game comeback from that low point with a 31 point blowout victory, as if to prove that the Lakers really had no business being on the floor for Game 7 in the first place. And justice, in its way, was served.

But as the Timberwolves are nowhere near these Playoffs, I've been reflecting on the Minnesota sports scene and have realized that for nearly two calendar years now, none of our four franchises have qualifed for their postseasons. And none of them look like they have any chance to do so in the near future. We have the Wolves, Vikings, Twins and Wild. I don't know how many cities in the US have teams in all four of the major pro sports, but it must be around 15 or so. Can any big sports fan out there tell me of a city that has endured such a woeful stretch in all four sports as that on which we appear to be embarking? Because I was just curious.

While I'm at it, here's another little Minneapolitan tidbit I've been turning over in my head. We have a lot of radio stations, and for some reason they all love to brag about their Variety. But listeners beware: each has their own definition of the word. Here then is a helpful reference guide to let you know what Variety means according to which station you might be listening to.

va·ri·e·ty (noun)
1. Drive 105: If you liked that song, you won't like this one.
2. 104 Jack FM: This next song hasn't been played on any radio station in the entire country for 19 years.
3. Cities 97: Tomorrow we'll play the same songs we played today, but in a different order!
4. KS95: We aren't just trying to sound like that one station and that other station. Honest.
5. 93X: We're not exactly sure what Variety is, but we think it sucks.
6. 92 KQRS: We play songs that are 20 years old and songs that are 30 years old!
7. 89.3 The Current: Even we don't know where the heck we found this song.