Well, That Was Abrupt

Alicia Grace Fuller was born by Cesarean section at 2:44 PM today, at 26 weeks and 2 days gestation. She weighs one pound, nine ounces, and is thirteen inches long.

Michelle called me at work around one o'clock to tell me that she was bleeding a lot and they were about to take her upstairs to do an ultrasound. She called back five minutes later and said she'd like me to be there. I said okay and left work. I arrived at the hospital five minutes after they had made the decision to take the baby out. There's no way to be ready for anything like that, but we'd had three weeks to consider every possible scenario and we knew this was an entirely likely one.

Michelle's hemoglobin was low, so she was knocked out entirely for the surgery. Because of this, for some reason, I wasn't allowed to be with her. I was told I'd be able to watch the birth through a window, but this did not happen. I met Alicia ten minutes after she was born. She already had a tube breathing for her and was getting her belly button IV's put in, so she didn't really have time to say hi.

She was small. She was skinny, red, and also very small. The first thought that went through my mind when I saw her was that she couldn't possibly survive. But that quickly evaporated. We'd already looked at pictures of 23 weekers who survived, and Alicia is much bigger than some of them. After the initial shock, I realized she was beautiful. She's puffy and deeply pink, but beautiful. Her limbs are thin, her hands and feet look like tiny adult hands and feet rather than tiny baby hands and feet. Her head is perfectly round and her face looks a little like a tiny version of Toby on his first day. She has a little black fuzz for hair.

Over the next couple of days she will gain weight, then she'll lose a lot of it. She'll become less puffy and her skin will shrivel up, but she'll breathe easier because of this. From there, it'll just be a long, steady process of lying in a tank and growing. All day today her signs were good and strong. She's doing everything a healthy premie should do.

Sorry I don't have pictures; I went to the hospital straight from work. Doug got a couple with his camera phone before she went into the NICU, and Michelle's stepmom Janelle showed up with a camera a little later.

Michelle is wiped out. She was in a lot of pain and very dizzy upon waking; she was in moderate pain and extremely sleepy when I left. She doesn't expect to be up to visitors or phone calls anytime soon.

It's been a long day and a long three weeks. We are exhausted and excited. Michelle will be home in four or five days. Toby and I will be unimaginably glad to have her home again, regardless of whether she can walk. It will be months before Alicia can come home, but she has arrived. We can see her. We can touch her. We can tell her story.