Bits of This

We're getting there. Last week Alicia would typically have a spell 5 minutes into her first feeding of the day, and only 3 minutes into the second try of the day. Then we went on to only desatting, but not having a real spell. That means that her breathing didn't keep up, but she didn't drop her heart rate. And today Alicia was dropping her sats, but only for a few seconds before pulling them right back up on her own. It's a huge difference. It means that she's getting stronger and that her brain is developing.

As for the other elements of feeding, there is small progress. Most of her time at the breast she isn't sucking. She's looking around or trying to doze off. But when she does suck, she's better at swallowing what little milk she gets. I've even heard her swallowing a few times. It's really the best sound in the world.

And tonight! She stayed at the breast for a full 15 minutes! Oh I was so very proud of her. She most definitely understands that it's the thing to do when she's hungry.

A NICU nurse came to talk to me way back when I first arrived at Abbott to prepare us for what was ahead. Among all that she told us was that the babe would likely go home on at least two bottles a day. So I've been prepared for that. Why? And how could our dear purist Michelle allow such a travesty? Well, first of all, the milk Alicia has been getting from the beginning is fortified. She's little. We want her to get as many calories and nutrients as possible with as little work as possible. Going home with two bottles allows her to still have that fortifier added to breast milk.

There are a couple more pieces to this. When a babe is inside, the momma's body gives her extra fat, calcium, phosphorus, and a few other good things in the last month before she's born. Momma's body is really quite smart. When a baby is born early, all that extra stuff goes into the breast milk, but only for one month. Nature didn't intend for babies to survive if born more than a month early. I still have a bunch of that first month's milk in the freezer, but we'll also give her the boost of synthetic powder.

Here's the last piece. I want my baby girl to come home. This week's doctor was saying that she recently had a mom who was as dedicated to breastfeeding as I am. Too bad she doesn't have at least a few all the time, but oh well. This mom did get her baby to be taking all of her milk from the breast while still in the hospital, but the babe wasn't gaining weight. When she left the hospital, the baby was only taking two of the eight daily feedings from the breast. When the doctor told me this, I began to understand. And to finally accept it. The bottle takes so much less effort. And my baby girl has so little effort to give for this endeavor. I think I'm ready to be happy with two full feedings from the breast. I'm still willing to stay around the clock in the last days. I'm willing to put forth all of the effort. But there are two of us, and the other one only has so much she can do. Well, me too I guess.

So we'll see. But I want my baby home. No matter how she takes her milk.

Here's some stats for you. These are a bit more technical for you medical professionals and wannabes out there.
Alicia weighs 4 lbs 7oz.
Length 16.7 inches
Head circumference 11.6 inches

Meds: Lasix 2mg, iron 2mg, Pulmicort .5mg/2ml, and caffeine citrate 16mg/.8ml.
Oxygen: 30%, 3L per hour (I'm going to ask if she can go down to 2L tomorrow.)
Mild retinopathy in the 3rd zone only
38 ml of fortified breastmilk every three hours