Well, shoot.

So the last time I read my Bible, the verse that popped out at me was Psalm 112:7. "She will have no fear of bad news; her heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." When I read this verse, I thought of my friend. Our upcoming trip to the doctor didn't occur to me.

Well. Let's start from the beginning. Alicia had three doctor appointments this month, not four. Synagis doesn't start until November, that would have been #4.

The first was Dr. Bothune, pediatric opthmologist. Alicia is at high risk for crossing her eyes and bad vision. So, off we went. Her eyesight is just barely within normal range, but normal it is. If she begins to cross her eyes I am to call right away. I find myself looking at her, "Did she just cross her eyes?" "Is that what crossing would look like?" I see him again in nine months, unless those eyes really do cross.

#2 was ECSE: Early Childhood Special Education, just keeping tabs on my babe. Alicia was extrememly tired and cranky for their whole visit, but they believe she's on track. She's definitely on the slow end of the track, but on the track she is nevertheless. We talked a lot about feeding. They believed that I really should be trying to feed Alicia just a little food (like at least two bites) twice a day, that she really did need the practice and exposure. They say that learning to eat solids is crucial for speech development. So we've been trying more and I think she's actually starting to get into it. We let her hold the spoon, something we never would have done back in the days of first-time-parenthood. We see these ESCE ladies every month.

Ah, today. Today was Dr. Sidman, pediatric ENT. Today was the worst doctor's appointment we've had in a long time. He's a great guy, though. And he's got this cool laptop that he writes on. Like with a pen thingy. Just writes. Right on the screen. Do you have one of those, Ernie? Yeah, okay. This appointment was to look at the lump in Alicia's cheek. The pulmonologist guessed it was just a hemangioma, but called Dr. Sidman anyway, who said we should come see him. And it's not a hemangioma. Now, hemangiomas are harmless little red spots which preemies often have quite a few of. Licia has her share. It's not a hemangioma. It's a tumor. Not cancerous. But this kind never go away on their own. They often grow and always eventually become infected. It needs to come out. He'll do surgery when Alicia is two or three years old. She'll have a scar on her cheek. We'll see him again in six months, unless it grows or is painful to her. This thing's proper name is pilomatrixoma for short.

As if that weren't enough, Alicia also has fluid in both ears. We were popped into a little hearing test room, and Alicia failed with flying colors. Little Bo Peep can't hear too much. Now, she did have her hearing tested just before we left the hospital. She's not deaf. It's just this fluid. We'll wait five weeks until our appointment with the pediatrician to see if it clears up. If it doesn't, she'll get tubes. I feel like such an idiot parent for not noticing that my daughter can't hear. Since we left, I keep saying her name to see if she responds. Occasionally. But tonight she woke up when Toby started crying in the next room.

So there it is. Bad news. Not too pretty. I tell you, I could eat great quantities of sugar and fat today.

Oh, and all the bad news today has nothing to do with Alicia being premature. It makes me feel like life is just out to get Licia one way or another. I am so very grateful for the high quality of medical care Alicia receives. I am grateful that there are people who spend extra years studying to be able to keep my Alicia healthy. One question I forgot to ask, does Alicia get to fly to Canada for Christmas?